Karen Sargent, Author at the 1 BIG thing

Karen Sargent

Karen is a psychologist and coach who escaped the corporate world and created a globetrotting lifestyle. Her base is in London but she spends winter in Asia. She runs her own business, coaching and training leaders in global organisations and is on a mission to convince the world to follow their heart. She founded the1bigthing.com to offer support and inspiration to people who want to create lives they love.

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From one tough experience to one great idea

People playing big 2 Responses »

Mar 012013

the1bigthing.com

Today’s interview is with Dr. Elizabeth Chabner Thomson. Her story shows us that when we go through a tough experience in life, something great can come out of it. When we focus on how we can use our experience to help others it may just inspire us to make a difference in this world.

What was your BIG thing?

I wanted to help women after breast surgery. I am a physician who was also a patient and I could not stand the low standard in surgical bras. The surgeries and radiation treatment for breast cancer have rapidly evolved (in some cases even been revolutionized), however, the garments for patients undergoing radiation therapy and surgery were designed in the 1970s, for patients undergoing surgeries of the past. I wanted to create an alternative, a surgical bra for the modern age of breast treatment.

Tell us about your moment of truth.

I received a letter from a patient that said, “If this surgical bra is meant to help me heal, why does it hurt so much?” I knew that I could make a better more comfortable bra. That’s when I decided to go for it. Armed with needles, scissors and thread I cut and sewed bras together to meet the needs of the 21st century patient.

What was the hardest thing about following through? What helped you overcome this?

A lot of worry with manufacturing and then trying to convince hospital purchasing offices to give a small company a chance. I heard a lot of “no’s”. My husband was my biggest supporter. He told me I could not quit even if I heard “no” 50 times. It gave me the courage and motivation to continue.

What was the best bit about making this happen?

Every time we have a sale, I am so excited. Patients send me thank you notes. It makes all the hard work worth it!

(Karen) Dr. Elizabeth’s business bfflco.com has now expanded to include many other items for people who are undergoing surgery or having a baby. My favourites are the gift-bags you can give someone before they go to hospital - they are full of clever items to make a patients’ stay more comfortable.

What advice would you give to others who are yet to start their big thing?

If you believe in it, you can get there. You need passion and energy and strong constitution for “No”

Dr. Elizabeth Chabner Thompson graduated from Johns Hopkins Medical School in 1993, and also obtained a Masters Degree in Public Health from Harvard.

After undergoing prophylactic mastectomies Elizabeth began working in the reconstructive surgery practice, helping other women with the difficult decision-making and recovery from breast surgery.

She set up bfflco.com to provide post surgery accessories for the 21st century patient.

One high risk strategy that will help you succeed

Follow your heart 6 Responses »

Feb 212013

High Risk High Return

Last year I used a high risk strategy that paid off. I put myself in a position where my only choice was to succeed. It focused my mind, my attention and my energy. It was scary, but oh so worth it.

At the end of our 18 month sabbatical, Paul and I returned to London with a firm decision that we’d follow our next BIG thing. We would NOT get jobs and instead work for ourselves.

It was a huge leap of faith. We’d landed back in the middle of a recession with no place to live and no source of income. We were not sure if we were being brave or just plain crazy. Would we succeed or would we end up homeless?

Travel had instilled in us a belief that things always work out. Maybe not in the way we expect them to, but they do. It was this thought that made us decide that the scales were tipping towards the brave, if only by a fraction.

I did waver at one point and downloaded an application for a Senior Psychologist position with a great company. I felt so miserable as I went to bed that night that the first thing I did in the morning was delete the application.

It’s often the crazy risks that lead to huge returns and this one definitely did. Far from ending up homeless we spent a year doing what we enjoyed, worked our own hours and interacted with people we liked. We’ve even been able to escape to Asia for the winter. There are MANY MANY moments when we stop and think ‘holy cow this is working out!’

Yes, in the beginning I spent countless nights lying in bed questioning our decision, worrying if the work I was getting would eventually dry up. I had plan B and C and D ready to go if plan A did not work out. None of them involved getting a job. We were determined we would succeed.

It’s made me realise something that I think I’ve known on a subconscious level but never really articulated.

If we leave ourselves no choice, if we absolutely MUST succeed that’s when we’re going to make sure we will.

There’s no time for self-doubt, no time to question, just time to spend all our energies ensuring we succeed.

Now all we need is enough courage to put ourselves in that position…

With love

Karen

P.S. What would you do today if you decided to use this strategy?

One for the clever serial quitters

Follow your heart, Get out of your own way 2 Responses »

Jan 312013

the1bigthing.com so you think you're clever?

What have you given up, or never started because you thought ‘I’ll never succeed’ or ‘I’ll never be good enough’? If something’s sprung to mind, read on. This post is about what’s created those thoughts and what to do about it.

Psychologists have discovered that some labels we’re given as kids often have a lot to do with how likely we are to give up on things as adults.

Regardless of whether a label is positive (you’re so clever) or negative (you’re dumb), it automatically puts us in a box and treats our talent, or lack of, as fixed and unchanging. And this is a dangerous thing.

Here’s why…

Labels like ‘talented’ or ‘clever’ subconsciously tell us that we don’t need to put much effort to learn or succeed at something. So when we do have to make an effort we end up assuming that this is because we’re not that talented after all.

Test it out. Who do you think is the better guitar player – someone who’s gifted or someone who’s worked really hard at learning how to play?

See what I mean?

On the other hand labels like ‘rubbish’ or ‘stupid’ tell us that no matter how hard we try we’ll never be any good.

The common denominator in both instances is EFFORT. Both labels ignore it. They assume that our abilities and skills are FIXED, and no amount of effort will make a difference.

So when ‘Miss. Clever’ encounters a task that’s a bit more difficult to master, suddenly her ‘clever’ title is under threat. If she were really that clever she’d find this easy, surely. So ‘Miss Clever’ decides that it’s better to give up and forget about the task because then she could easily tell herself that the only reason she didn’t succeed was that she didn’t try. Her ‘clever’ status goes unchallenged.

Similarly Miss Croaky voice never bothers with singing lessons even though she’d love to sing, because no amount of effort is going to change that voice that sounds just like a fox in a fight (and if you’ve ever heard a fox fight, you know that sound is NOT pretty).

Dr. Carol Dweck defines this as having a FIXED mindset. A belief that ability is unchangeable.

It makes those of us who have been labelled positively expect ourselves to excel at something the minute we start. And if we don’t, we move on to something else lest our ‘genius’ is challenged. The same mindset makes those of us who have been labelled negatively never even try in the first place. Why bother, when it won’t make any difference.

Now if you’re shaking your head at this and thinking, this is absolute garbage - that’s a good thing. It means you’re one of the lucky ones who has a ‘GROWTH’ mindset. A belief that we can master anything….if we put in the effort.

Personally I think we can have both mindsets in different areas in our lives. For example I’ve patiently built my skills at putting websites together as I ‘get’ that it requires effort and yet I’ve given up learning to play the Ukulele because I couldn’t play a proper song when I started.

The good news is that our mindset CAN change! Let’s go back to that goal you gave up on or never started. Take a moment (ok make it 5 minutes) to reflect on these questions:

How much effort have you put into developing this skill so far?

How high are you expecting this skill to be right now?

Are these expectations realistic given the amount of effort you’ve put in?

How much effort ARE you willing to put in?

Given this amount of effort, what would be a realistic goal you can set yourself?

By when do you want to reach this goal?

So what are you going to do about it?

What’s the first step you will take?

When will you take it?

I hope this post inspires you to start something you love.

Wishing you the persistence it takes to make BIG things happen

With love

Karen

P.S. This post was inspired by Dr. Carol Dweck’s book: Mindset. It’s full of inspiring stories of how mindset is linked to success in sports, business and school. Read it and let your mindset be transformed.

photo credit: devangmundhra via photopin cc

The crucial difference between want & should

Follow your heart, Make it happen 13 Responses »

Jan 162013

My current office view. In Bueng Pai Farm - Pai, Thailand.

For the past 5 days I’ve been living another long held dream of mine. I’ve escaped the British winter and am spending the next 3 months in Thailand. I’m thrilled and I hope this escape will be a yearly occurrence. Making this happen has taught me something crucial about helping us stick to our promises, goals and dreams.

The decision to leave London did not come without risks and I have to admit I’ve had quite a few sleepless nights when no one showed an interest in sub-letting our flat. I was also quite anxious about leaving London when I was getting great coaching and facilitation work as an associate of one of the best training organisations in the UK. Would they keep on giving me work on my return?

Despite this I had no doubt about my intention to get my @ss to Asia. I booked our flights over 6 months ago knowing full well that whatever it took, I would make it happen.

It got me wondering where all this certainty and confidence came from. I mean there are some things I’ve wanted to achieve for ages, what had stopped me from being this gung ho about them?

Case in point, as I was packing my belongings I came across 2 HUGE stacks of ‘when I lose a dress size’ clothes. I’ve had them for 4 years – they’re out of fashion but I cannot bear to part with them. I’ve been meaning to lose a dress size for ages but somehow I’ve never really bothered to make it happen.

So what was different about my Asia goal? What made me willing to take such a high level of risk? I’m not an unshakable, unflappable mountain of strength after all.

I think it boils down to 1 thing.

WANT vs. SHOULD

My goal to get to Asia is something I really WANT. I’m extremely connected to my desire to make this happen. I’m very clear on the WHY and the benefits I’ll get from this goal. When our subconscious is this connected to our desire we’re literally pulled towards what we want and taking action becomes a lot easier. It might still be scary, it might still give us heart palpitations but something deep inside wills us to keep going.

I’ve realised that some goals I’ve set myself in the past (like losing a dress size) are more about things I think I SHOULD be doing and therein lies the problem. SHOULD motivates no one. In fact, if you’re a little rebellious like me you might even take pleasure from laughing in the face of SHOULD and doing the exact opposite, like putting on a dress size for example (oops).

Does this mean that we can just give up on any ‘SHOULD’ goals? Not necessarily.

Armed with the knowledge that it’s the WANT goals that we enjoy making happen it might be worth looking at our SHOULD goals from a different perspective. How could you turn a SHOULD goal into a WANT one?

So while ‘losing a dress size’ does nothing for my motivation, ‘Vitality, Lightness & Energy’ might just get me to keep away from the carbs and eat my veggies.

See I’m already eating more protein…at Taling Chan floating market Bangkok

How about you? Is there something you’ve been putting off for ages? Is it a WANT or a SHOULD type of goal? If you did achieve it, would your life benefit in some way? If the answer is yes it may be worth exploring how you can turn it into a WANT goal.

What benefits get you excited and motivated? How can you remind yourself of them on a daily basis?

And when you’ve turned your SHOULD goal into a WANT goal, I’d love to hear about it.

With love
Karen

P.S. Yes I did manage to sub-let my flat, and the Training company even gave me some work in Singapore & Dubai! It always works out in the end,

and if it hasn’t worked out yet, it’s not the end…..

Bordering on the impossible (& how I got through)

Follow your heart 5 Responses »

May 282012

Last week I went to Abu Dhabi on a business trip. I was running some training for a group of managers and a group of graduates. I’d already been to Abu Dhabi the month before and got into the country without a glitch. This time was different….

As I went through passport control the man behind the desk looked at me with the question ‘Visa?’ I didn’t think I needed a visa and replied to that effect. Turns out I was wrong.

I was quickly ushered to the Immigration Office and the man in charge told me I had to get on the next plane back to the UK. Gulp! This meant letting down my client, about 30 people who were attending the training, plus not getting paid for a full week’s work. Clearly a MAJOR DISASTER!

I had a choice – I could either accept my fate, after all Immigration Officers are not exactly known for their flexibility, or I could try every possible thing I could think of to get into the county. I opted for the latter option.

I appealed to the man’s kindness and managed to get a 24 hour grace period before he sent me packing back home. I could stay in the airport and try and get a visa, after that I was out!

In those 24 hours I rallied the troops, and asked every single person who could help to help. I came up with 10 different options and methodically went through each option to see if it worked. Some twice, just to make sure. From transit visas, to flying to Dubai, to the Maltese consulate, to the two people I knew in Abu Dhabi. It seemed that every road took me to a dead end.

That was until I got an email, 18 hours after the ordeal started, saying that yep, there’s a man who can get you a visa in 2 hours. Send us your passport & ticket scans and check your email in 2 hours. Sure enough, 2 hours later I had my visa! Just like that, the insurmountable problem had been resolved. Hooray!!

As I bid Ahmed, the immigration officer goodbye (we’d become friends by now) and walked out of the airport I felt truly invincible.

There are two reasons I’m sharing this with you. Firstly, if you’re ever stuck in Abu Dhabi without a visa then I’ve got the right man for you. Secondly I was reminded of the door’s response to Alice, in Lewis Carroll’sAlice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Door: “Why it’s simply impassible!

Alice: Why, don’t you mean impossible?

Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing’s impossible!”

So whatever situation you’re facing in life, when one door seems to be locked tight, move on. Look for another door because eventually, if you try enough doors, you will find one that’s ever so slightly ajar…

Have a great week!

With love

Karen

On getting things done

Make it happen Comments Off

Feb 142012

These past 2 weeks have been an illuminating experience on how great I am at ‘illusionary busyness’. Whilst Paul and I are in the in-between place of visiting family and settling down since we got back from our travels we also want to get started on building our businesses.

Since my mornings are usually free, I’ve been sitting religiously at my laptop to ‘work’ on my website. I have spent hours in deep concentration, jumping from one website to another reading about all sorts of things that I’m convinced will make ALL the difference to building a successful business online. In between I’ve checked my e-mail a thousand times, and every time I see a little number next to my Facebook tab I have to go and check what’s happening in my social world lest I miss anything.

I’ve spent precious hours in front of this screen and sure I now know what SEO actually stands for and the meaning ‘Google keywords’ but not one thing has changed on my website. Nada, Zilch! Oh dear!

So today I’ve started the day with a different tactic.

I’ve actually written down 5 things I will get done. I’ve left my Facebook closed, resisted clicking on that great looking article my friend sent me via e-mail (I still haven’t managed to avoid my morning e-mails yet) and I’ve given myself an hour to write this post.

When I wrote down my goals I used the 80/20 rule to help me choose which things will make most difference to my website so that if I stick to my guns and get the things done today, I’ll have accomplished quite a bit.

The thing is, I know about all sorts of productivity techniques, I even teach them to others for crying out loud! Not that anyone needs to learn how to be productive. Deep down we all know how to do it. BUT there’s a sea of difference between knowing and doing.

For me, that sea is made up of awareness. Seeing how little I’ve done over the past 2 weeks isn’t a pretty sight but it’s jolted me into being a little bit more productive this morning. I think it also had something to do with a great quote I came across yesterday:

“Next year you’ll wish you started today”

I’m curious, what project comes to mind when you see that quote? What would you start today if you were guaranteed a successful outcome in a year’s time? What would you accomplish if you spent an hour or so a day working on your project for the next 365 days?

For me, it’s this website. What about you?

With love

Karen

P.S. If you’ve enjoyed this article please share it on Facebook or re-tweet it.

P.P.S. If you made it here from Twitter or a link from a friend, why not go ahead and sign up for regular updates, tips and more. For a limited time there’s a free coaching workbook ‘Find out what you really want’ for everyone who signs up. Click here to sign up and never miss a thing.

Photo is by Sergiu Bacioiu

Could this strategy change your life?

Follow your heart 3 Responses »

Feb 082012

As human beings we have a natural tendency to put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Whenever we come up with a new idea or a dream we expect ourselves to execute it to perfection, first time round without any glitches.

We only have to look around us to see how false that assumption is. Do you remember the first computer you bought? I bet it wasn’t as small or as fast as the one you own now. And what about your TV? In 10 years time our kids will laugh at the bulky boxes we used to have in our living room.

The point is, we can always improve on something…AS LONG AS WE START IT.

If we dream of opening up our own business, we could start with a little side project while still keeping the day job, if we want to travel the world we could start by putting our first £100 in a savings account, and if we want to write a book we could start by writing the first page.

The trouble is that sometimes when we look at where we are, and compare it to where we’d love to be the gap seems so huge that it’s enough to stop us dead in our tracks, making us give up before we’ve even started.

Here’s a strategy that helped me overcome this paralysis when I decided to leave Malta and go and study for my Master’s degree in London. I call it ‘The Magical Blinkers’.

But before I introduce this wonderful strategy let me list all the challenges I had to face to be able to follow my dream (you don’t necessarily need to read the list, just be impressed by how long it is)

Get my Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Malta to be accepted by the British Psychological Society. (This step actually took a whole year and 9 letters to the society to happen, but that’s another story).
Find a British University that accepted me on their course, without an acceptance certificate from the British Psychological Society (oh I make it sound so simple).
Raise £15000 in cash to pay for my tuition and lodging (yep that’s 15 with 3 zeroes!)
Find somewhere to live.
Find a part-time job so I could actually eat.
Understand how the British Education system worked to make sure I passed my courses.
Find a job in London after graduating even though I didn’t have a work permit
Deal with the fact that I’d left my partner and my family back in Malta for a whole year.
Give up a great job that offered me security and even a company car!

For years I’d dreamed of studying in London, and for years I assumed that that dream was way out of reach for me. Until one day, Rachel (my manager at the time) asked me a question “Why don’t you do it?” As I went through my list of reasons, something inside me shifted and a voice screamed “You silly moo, just go for it already” (or something along those lines). There and then, I decided that I was going to do it and lo and behold the “The Magical Blinkers” strategy was born.

Here’s how it works:

STEP 1: I listed all the reasons why I couldn’t go

STEP 2: I put on my magical blinkers and focused on 1 hurdle at a time. I didn’t think of the 9 other hurdles waiting for me, I just focused on the 1. I brainstormed and asked around until I found a way to jump over that hurdle and then moved on to the next one.

That’s it.

It took 1 question, 1 strategy and my life was transformed forever.

What strategies have you used to help you achieve the impossible? I’d love it if you shared your ideas in the comments below.

Much love

Karen

P.S. If you enjoyed this post please share it on Facebook or Re-tweet it.

P.P.S. If you made it here from Twitter or a link from a friend, why not go ahead and make sure you never miss a thing? For a limited time, there’s a free coaching workbook ‘Find out what you really want’ for everyone who signs up. Click here to sign up

Take a risk

Follow your heart 4 Responses »

Jan 312012

Paul and I will be flying back home in 3 days time after 18 months of travelling around the world. We decided to spend our last week in an Ashram, something both of us had never experienced before. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to rest and reflect over the past 18 months, and also look at how I felt about going back home to London.

When we get back home, Paul and I have promised ourselves not to get a job, and instead find ways of making our own money, through doing things we love. It’s a big promise and it’s also quite scary not to have the security of a well paid job to go to. Especially since that’s what I’ve been used to for the past 15 years.

But back to the Ashram. Our first day’s meditations brought up a huge feeling of fear in me. My mind was literally freaking out at the thought of not getting a job. The recurring thought that went over and over in my mind was ‘how the hell will we pay our rent??!!!’

The next day, Samaya (the guy who owns the Ashram) was talking to the whole group and said the perfect words I needed to hear. ‘In life we need to take risks. That is the only way we can feel alive, experience the real juice of life. If you don’t take risks in life, you’ll never lose any money, you’ll never get hurt, you’ll rarely make mistakes. But you’ll also not truly live’.

20 years ago when he decided to sell his business in Maui, Hawaii and buy a 100 acres of land in Australia his family thought he was crazy. ‘What will you do when you’re 80 years old and you’re alone in the middle of nowhere with a 100 acres of land no one wants to buy?’ Well he’s 82 now, although he looks about 60 and he’s surrounded by a group of young people who love and care for him and also look to him for advice. In his words ‘they keep me alive’.

His words and his story took me from fearing the future to celebrating the fact that Paul and I have chosen to do it our way. True we don’t have any guarantees that we’ll be able to pay the rent, and who knows we may even have to sleep on our friends’ floors in the near future, but will that be such a big disaster?

I think the real disaster would have been for us to throw away the sense of freedom and the joy we’ve felt over the past 18 months and get a nice secure job that didn’t exactly fulfil us just so we could make sure to pay our rent.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there are many people out there who have jobs they love and that fulfil them. Equally there are many of us out there who feel just the opposite.

So if you’re living a life that doesn’t excite you, or bring you much joy, if you’re living for the weekend, keep in mind that, THAT is the price you are paying for your security, for not taking a risk.

It’s a high price to pay.

Are you willing to pay it?

With love

Karen

xx
P.S. I’d love to hear what risks you would take to create a more fulfilling life, or if you’ve taken a huge risk that’s brought great returns. Leave your comments below or email me at [email protected]

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